


Get some rest

by gilleboll



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Short One Shot, essentially just about parabatai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 14:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19929850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilleboll/pseuds/gilleboll
Summary: As touching as it was that Jace had been there when Alec woke up, he wished that his parabatai would have done like Isabelle and Magnus and gone to sleep.”You should have rested,” he told Jace.Jace shook his head, lacing his fingers together on the bed. ”I couldn’t if I tried. Not with— not with Clary gone.”Alec’s stomach sank. ”Gone? What do you mean, g—””She’s dead, Alec,” Jace cut in before Alec could finish the question he already knew the answer to.Alec and Jace have a talk after Lilith’s banishment.





	Get some rest

**Author's Note:**

> after a month of no writing, i’ve returned!

Everything hurt. Pain pulsed and radiated from Alec’s broken wrist and his arrow-pierced chest, making it difficult to see, think, breathe. He knew Magnus was with him. He felt Magnus’s familiar hands cradling his neck, touching his arm. As his body was jostled, even if Magnus was being gentle, a spike of pain made Alec’s vision blur.

”Mom said you’d make a dramatic entrance.” 

It was the only thing he could think to say. Was it odd that his first thought as the love of his life held him was of his mother? He heard Magnus speaking softly in response, but couldn’t quite make out the words. Maybe that was for the better. Alec wouldn’t put it above Magnus to scold him for having his last words in life be about his mom. Because Alec knew he was dying, and funnily enough, he’d almost come to accept it. He didn’t want to go, he didn’t want to leave his friends, his family, his love behind so soon, but some part of him knew he’d die here in a New York alley like a soldier in a trench, and accepted it. 

_ It is what it is. _

Alec moreso felt Jace hurtling towards him than he heard or saw him. Intrinsically, he knew that the second blurry outline of a person hovering above him was his parabatai. At least he’d have good company when his time came. Jace’s and Magnus’s voices were urgent as they spoke to each other. Something about  _ fix him _ and  _ magic… gone _ and  _ Lilith _ . Lilith. There were a lot of things Alec wanted to say while he still could, but making sure Jace knew he wasn’t to blame was the most important. Just as Jace could feel that Alec was dying where he lay, Alec could feel that Jace placed the blame for that on himself rather than the Queen of Edom. He willed himself to focus on his brother’s panicked face.

”Jace, it wasn’t you,” he said as Jace scrambled to slide his stele over Alec’s iratze. He wanted to elaborate further, but it was hard enough work to just keep his eyes open. His head felt heavy; his whole body did. Wave after wave of tiredness came over him, pulling at him and pulling him away. It didn’t even hurt that badly anymore. Something cool and familiar pressed against his palm. Adamas. A stele. The weight of it in his hand was comforting, though he hoped Jace didn’t expect him to do much with it. The effort it would take to even lift his hand felt insurmountable. He felt Jace’s presence leaving, and he allowed himself to rest. If anyone needed the strength shared between them, it was Jace. It was almost as if his battered and tired body let out a grateful sigh as he let his eyes fall shut. 

***

His head ached dully when he came to. He wasn’t in the same place he’d been in when the world had gone black. The air didn’t smell like wet pavement and back-alley. It smelled vaguely of antiseptic and freshly washed bed linens; smells that very much reminded him of times he’d been reckless, or, as was more likely, times his siblings had been reckless. The infirmary at the Institute. 

”Alec?”

Alec groaned at the sound of his name. His eyebrows drew together as he forced himself to open his eyes.

”Jace? Jace, is that you?” he asked the backlit silhouette sitting by his bedside. A warm hand pressed lightly against Alec’s shoulder, and he knew.

”Yeah. Yeah, it’s me,” Jace said. He sounded hoarse, like he hadn’t slept. Alec made an effort to sit up, but Jace firmly pressed him back into the mattress. 

”Don’t push yourself,” he said. 

”I’m fine,” Alec retorted as he made another attempt to sit up. That earned him a sharp pain in his chest that made him wince, and an incredulous look from Jace. Alec shot him a little glare, but laid back down. 

”What happened?” he asked. 

Jace scooted his chair closer to the bed and rested his elbows on the edge of the mattress.

”Izzy helped Magnus get you back here once Lilith’s disciples all collapsed. They barely left this room all night. Mom and I forced them out and into bed maybe an hour ago.”

”How long was I out for?” Alec asked, looking around the well lit but windowless room for any sort of visual answer to his question.

”Twelve, thirteen hours or so. I’m not really sure,” Jace said, then sighed.

No wonder Alec had a headache. Twelve straight hours of sleep would do that to just about anybody. Jace, on the other hand looked dead on his feet. His blond hair was unkempt and falling across his face. His eyes were almost more full of exhaustion than they had been when Alec had last seen him, before last night. As touching as it was that Jace had been there when Alec woke up, he wished that his parabatai would have done like Isabelle and Magnus and gone to sleep. 

”You should have rested,” he told Jace. 

Jace shook his head, lacing his fingers together on the bed. ”I couldn’t if I tried. Not with— not with Clary gone.” 

Alec’s stomach sank. ”Gone? What do you mean, g—”

”She’s dead, Alec,” Jace cut in before Alec could finish the question he already knew the answer to. If Alec hadn’t known him, he would have thought the steely cold in Jace’s voice was convincing. As if he wasn’t trying to hold in immense grief. As if Alec couldn’t feel some of that same grief flowing over into him. Alec placed his hand on top of Jace’s clasped ones. 

”Jace,” he said. He was at a loss for words, and he hoped the one word he could say still conveyed everything he meant.  _ I’m so sorry. I know you loved her. I feel your pain. I’m here for you when you need me. _

”Dead because of me,” Jace almost whispered. All the coldness in his voice had gone, and it looked like he deflated; his head bent low and shoulders sagging. ”And I nearly killed you too…”

Alec’s grip on Jace’s hands tightened. ”That’s not true, any of it. Jace, none of this is your fault,” he said, eyes fixed intently on his parabatai’s. The smile Jace gave Alec was sad. 

”You should keep resting. We need you in charge,” he said, disentangling his hands and making to stand up. Alec caught Jace’s arm and shot up into a sitting position, ignoring the ache in his still healing wounds. 

”Hey,” he said as he pulled his brother into a hug. Jace’s head rested heavily on Alec’s shoulder, as it tended to do. Thanks to the unconventional angle of the embrace, Alec’s face was effortlessly buried in Jace’s shoulder. 

Alec breathed in the scent of him. Despite everything, it was still the same — something like sage, and cocoa, and something undefinable yet undeniably  _ Jace. _

”Don’t blame yourself for this,” Alec mumbled into the fabric of Jace’s sweater. Alec felt Jace’s fingers briefly dig into his shoulders before freeing himself from the hug.

Jace gave another sad-looking smile. ”I’ll… go speak to Magnus. I’m sure he wants to see you.”

”Thank you,” Alec said with a small smile. Jace gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and turned toward the door. 

”Get some rest,” he said as he headed out.

”You too.” 

When the door quietly closed behind Jace, Alec sank back into the pillows with a heavy sigh. He was still so tired and he wasn’t sure if it was just his own exhaustion or Jace’s bleeding into him. He hoped, against all better judgement and knowledge about Jace as a person, that he’d take Alec’s advice and actually rest. Selfish as it might be, Alec needed his parabatai. He couldn’t bear to watch him slowly but surely self-destruct. The door opened again, pulling Alec out of his introspection and into the arms of an uncharacteristically disheveled-looking Magnus. 

”Hey,” Magnus said, pressing a kiss to the top of Alec’s head. ”There you are.”

”Hi,” Alec answered. 

”Isabelle and Maryse should be on their way.”

Alec just nodded. The familiar scent of sandalwood wafted by him, and despite himself — despite everything — he found some joy in that. He hoped Jace could feel some of it. He needed it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoyed it! as always, i greatly appreciate any kudos or comments :)


End file.
